You / I

Time to make sense of the you/I issue. Everywhere you go you read and hear people using 'you' when they should be saying 'I', and it frustrates you it really does.

...Did the previous sentence bother you? Or did it sound totally normal? It's a small difference but it's been a mosquito around the ear for me recently and when I think about it it's actually very interesting...

How much better and more sincere that opinion would sound if it went: "Everywhere I go I read and hear people using 'you' when they should be saying 'I', and it frustrates me it really does."

I just think it's really strange when I'm talking about my situation, to use words not associated with my situation. Especially in a blog setting when the blogger is addressing no one in particular.
Drawing my first real-life example from international soccer just shows how widespread this phenomenon is around the world. I had thought it was an Asian thing, with people scared to go on about themselves, but Frenchman Nicolas Anelka dabbles in the dark arts too: 'I knew I couldn't stay very long in Spain. You can't do anything. You drive, people recognise you, you go to a restaurant and you have paparazzi outside. I prefer the life in England."

It's confusing. Here he is, talking about his specific experience, but extrapolating it to universalistic application. There's no need to do that, because no one asked him to don a professor's hat and generalise about the social situation in Spain! It also makes it seem that he was bothered by other footballers being hapless victims of the paparazzi when all he cared about was probably only himself.

Imagine a world where people behaved: 'I knew I couldn't stay very long in Spain. I couldn't do anything. I drove, people recognised me, I went to a restaurant and I had paparazzi outside. I prefer the life in England."

How refreshing.

So my task today. I want to understand why people may use 'you' instead of 'I', and understand when it may be appropriate for them to do so. All qoutes are REAL, as best as I remember them.

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Possible Reason 1:People lack the confidence to refer to themselves, and may feel guilty doing so. Suddenly feeling conscious as the interview goes on, they swap terms mid-sentence.

Who will probably say it: JC nerd, still finding his feet in life. Probably good in GP.

What you will probably hear:
Q: So what do you think of American Gangster? "
A: Ah its a great movie, and I really enjoyed the build of the characters in the first part. I liked Washington's portrayal of Lucas. You get the sense that he's two-faced, but that kind of reflects what most of us are, doesn't it?"

Verdict: Inappropriately used - stick to the topic!

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Possible Reason 2: People who are so expansively arty-farty they no longer think about individual feelings, but transfer what they feel to the plane of hyper-reality (oh my god how arty farty does that sound).

Who will probably say it: Poet / Ex-ACS (I) student.

What you will probably hear:
Q: What does this park mean to you?
A: "When you jog through a place like this, time slows down. (*appropriate hand gesture*) You get the feeling that you are free from the troubles of the world.(*nod head poetically*)" - (real quote from a real ex-ACS(I) student!!!)

Verdict: Inappropriately used and totally gay.

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Possible Reason 3: People who like to have conversations where they mollycoddle a superior by constantly referring to him or her. Able to work sucking-up into being nice.

Who will probably say it: Employee of an MNC looking for a promotion.

What you will probably hear:
Q: Colleague A to colleague B: "So what do you think of the taxi debacle?"
A: "I find the taxi fare hike confusing. Your heart pains (glances at boss for approval) in the cab seeing the meter jump every few seconds (glances at boss for approval). You get out, feeling lousy, but you know you actually deserve such luxuries (glances at boss for approval) cos you work so hard everyday (glances at boss for approval).

Verdict: Appropriately used but kill me now breaking your self-respect like that makes it inappropriate.

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Possible Reason 4: When you really are the expert on something enough to be able to comment on it at a macro level. Don't mess with these sorts.

Who will probably say it: Professors, ministers, and Jackson Tai (ex-boss of DBS)'s of the world.

What you will probably hear:
Q: What was your M&A strategy in DBS?
A: "You know, when you do acquisitions, you got to make sure that the acquisitions are accretive to shareholders and that it has industrial logic." Fwah.

Verdict: Appropriately used. Probably the only sort of scenario one can use 'you' appropriately.