The Great Genetic Cover Up

They say we are all animals.

The wearers of chic short berms and skinny suspenders (oh so summer!) may protest, but these only cover up an animal body and distract from an animal mind.

Animals run by instinct; sans the higher order mammals like monkeys and dolphins, there is little socialisation. They follow the call of the millenia.

And so, inescapably, do we.

Innocent, everyday statements like -- "Oh, he's intelligent but er... kinda short?"; "Wah she's chio from far but far from chio"; "Check out her kankles!"; "Paul Tan is damn muscular!" -- are founded on the concepts of comparative advantage of height, the perception of superior genes, and the worship of the caveman-male-provider-defender construct.

Why are mixed-race people particularly exotic, like Devon Aoki, Beyonce and your next-door Greek-British neighbour? A theory exists, and I agree: because the genetic diversity of a mixed-race person is wider and thus less susceptible to genetic failure, these superior breeds appear attractive in our eyes.

So I shouldn't have been surprised when the cute secretary at Camden Medical wore specs one day, and I immediately felt -- I'll be honest -- less attracted to her. After all, would I want to pass on the spectre of deficient eyesight to my children?

But somehow I was surprised, and, probably in my sub-conscious-turned-conscious mind, disappointed that she wasn't naturally eagle-eyed. (Contact lens is like whitewash; more about that later). And I soon felt disappointed at my hypocrisy.

First, because I'm short-sighted too; My Lasik-ed corneas are a pretense to naturally superior eyesight. Secondly, because this girl had stroked my ego a day earlier by asking "Are you Singaporean? Wah your accent is very sharp!" (She didn't expect a person installing a fish tank should speak well).

To the first, being originally 300-bad in my left eye and 500-bad in my right, I should have no right nor reason to even subconsciously put her down a genetic notch. To the second, I allowed my socialisation to overcome my instinct. But maybe I am trying to be way too true to myself; ego-gratification is a earth-moving force in our world, I need not kowtow to instinct and not feel guilty.

So there, I've admitted as much. But before you protest against my genetic snobbery and instinct-determinism, think about how many times you said Paul Tan or Felicia Chin is cute and secretly (or not) wished you could sleep with them.

Moving on to contact lens: they are a cover up. Many of us use it as a look-good-weapon-of-choice; we refuse to be ever seen -- gasp -- in our specs. We use it to cover up our genetic deficiency to appear appealing to other people who use it to cover up their genetic deficiency to appear appealing to other people use it to cover up their genetic deficiency. Ditto with stockings, solution par excellence to cover up blue veins and-stretch-marks. The same goes with eyelash extensions, french manicures, make up, rhinoplasty. Human inventions to enhance what we do not have.

Covering up our genetic flaws (to put it in the worst way I could, lying) --I do it, you do it, we have all done it. But hey, being able to? Maybe this is what makes us less animal and more human after all.

This is a very obsfucated way for me to say Felicia Chin is hot (and I want to ...)

: )